Category Archives: Coming Out
A Case of Bad Timing
So we all know this gay and Christian thing is a journey. We have read the accounts of different people taking all sorts of different times to come to a place where they can live with integrity within their sexuality. We also know that this looks different for people.
It is because we are all so very complex in what we bring to a decision that many times conclusions vary. But I hope we also know that its OK to be different. To be walking alongside folk who are all in different parts of their own journey. It’s so good when those paths are parallel for a while, and we can feel the support of a friend with us. That is all so nice and good and don’t we all feel special and supportive and loving.
But what about when it’s your partner who is on a way different page, and it’s coming up to Christmas and you have to decide where to have family dinner! Arghhhhhh…. That is bad timing – we are so not on the same page on this one!
Why So Long to Come Out?
It took me ten years to come to terms with being both gay and christian. Such a long time, considering I was 26 when I finally and fully came out to self, family, friends and church. I guess if it wasn’t for pioneers who came out before me, it may have taken even longer.
The truth is, when all started for me, and throughout the process, I was able to get some support. I could meet the people who had done it before or I could read their stories.
By the time I came out in 2006, homosexuality was not so much of a “no go” area. The stigma of homosexuality was no longer as powerful, to make it talked of in hushed, disgusted or pitied tones. Those days were gone, and books were written, research started, people consulted and families reconciled.
Coming out to Your Christian Family
You can choose your friends. As a gay person coming out, it may be a sad process, but you may lose some friends over your “new” revelation.
Some may distance themselves out of ignorance, or out of a conviction. They may say they’ve got the God-angle on it – as they may believe. But the cold hard truth is, friends come and go. I’ve had friends come and go as they change jobs, hobbies, marital status – lesser things have meant the death of a friendship.
Coming to Terms with Coming Out at Work
Coming out at work is not really something that the majority of the population has to do.
There are exceptions of course. I can imagine that a good amount of the cast of ‘Priscilla Queen of the Desert’ can pretty much coast under the radar as gay gay gay.
I doubt they know the pressure of having to discreetly drop a line into conversation about their same sex partner or maintaining calm as the G-bomb is left to have either its devastating or discrete effect on the minds and hearts and faces of surrounding colleagues.
My Thoughts on Being Gay and Being a Christian
I first came to the realization I was gay when I was about 22.
In retrospect the signs had been there for a long time but I was way too naive and ignorant to recognize them.
It was my home group leader who confronted me about it. God told her I was gay in a dream and He was spot on!
Suddenly the penny dropped – I realized the emotional entanglements I had got myself into with some of my girl friends were confused and misplaced and the huge expectations I had of our friendships were totally unrealistic.
